Punxsutawney Phil's Cousin

Meet Pudding Hill Pete: bq. Pudding Hill Pete Weighs In On Pressing Issues "What did ya bring me to warm my belly?" That was how I was greeted after trudging up Pudding Hill in Lyndon for my annual interview with the region's resident curmudgeon, Pudding Hill Pete. bq. I handed over a bottle of Pomme de Vie Apple Brandy from Flag Hill Farm in Vershire I had chosen as my beverage of choice to loosen up the old critter and get him talking. It worked and what follows is a sanitized version of what was said. This being a family newspaper and all, I took out most of the profanity and crude remarks that punctuate Pete's normal conversations. bq. As we sat around the woodstove in Pete's cozy burrow far below the snow-covered hill, he peered at me over his half glasses and asked, "Do those folks at The Caledonian actually pay you to write those columns?" bq. I said yes. bq. "What is the matter with them? Why, you don't know crap about crap. I could do a better job any day of the week," he retorted. And his famous cousin: bq. "Did you see the picture in the papers last year with my cousin Punxsutawney Phil bein' manhandled by them so-called handlers in top hats? Gobbler's Knob sure has a bunch of weird people. bq. "Hrumph, Phil thinks he is so much better'n the rest of us cause he gets on television every year. Heh...