You're All Morons
A fine rant from someone who can't take it any more.
I present for your edification
Mr. Jeff Woods, a maintenance programmer for Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided:
bq. Greetings and suck me. I'm Jeff Woods, maintenance programmer for Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided. As a maintenance programmer it is my responsibility to manage existing code, write bug fixes, integrate new code while analyzing its impact on existing functionality and be the brunt of your jokes and flames on the forums. Suck me. I'm writing this Friday Feature because I'm about sick of your, the valued customer's, torrent of never ending sass-mouth and ill-informed crap. I repeat, suck me. Suck me long. Suck me hard.
bq. Being a maintenance programmer is such a privileged joy and honor. I get to spend anywhere from eight to twelve, sometimes as many as sixteen straight hours a day locked in an eight by eight cube grinding my ass out writing code that you freaks don't appreciate. Did I mention you can suck me? What I love best is you forum jockeys lamenting the game code while you most likely work in a porn theater as a janitor or mooch off my tax dollars as an unemployed turd, sitting on a couch with no cushion with Chef Boyardee stains all over your wife beater. If you think you can write better netcode I invite you to come down and have a go, after you suck me of course....freak.
bq. Does the game have bugs? Yeah, it has a helluva lot of bugs. What the fuck you think I'm doing here cock gobbler? I'm trying to fix the god damn game but you little whiney bitches want new shit too. New shit equals more bugs. IT NEVER ENDS! WHEN I GET ON TOP OF THE HILL I GET BURIED IN A BIGGER PILE OF DUNG! I HATE YOU ALL! DIE! Plus I don't make the decisions, I just code. I wish I did. I'd put a god damn virus in each and every one of your machines and blow up your shit!
Got the tee-shirt. Never did games but worked on a few other projects where care and feeding of the programmers was not high on the priority list...
Posted by DaveH at September 27, 2004 9:50 PM