Wonderful weblog from a
Professional Waiter.
Here is an
excerpt from one post:
Penmanship
"Waiter," the customer asks testily, "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Excuse me sir?" I reply, confused.
The man waves the pen I gave him to sign the check. It's one of those pharmaceutical pens. You know the ones drug reps hand out like candy in doctor's offices? It's labeled ZOCOR.
"Do you know what Zocor's for?" the man asks.
"It's for high cholesterol sir," I reply.
"Are you being a smartass?" the man says.
I stifle a laugh. This guy's at least three hundred pounds.
"Sir, it's just a pen." I say.
"Just checking," the man snorts. My, isn't he the sensitive type? Idiot.
He then goes on to sugest that Waiters present specific pens to specific clients as a sort of subliminal jab. Some examples:
Zoloft � Good for the obsessive compulsive guy who double checks the bill 5 times. (OCD)
Lipitor � You just had to have extra cheese with that, right pal? (Cholesterol)
Campral � Maybe you should stop drinking. (Alcoholism)
Paxil � Customer eating alone? (Social Anxiety Disorder)
Viagra � Ladies, sick of the old perv staring at your tits? (Erectile dysfunction)
Zyban � For the customer who bitches about the no smoking rule. (Nicotine Addiction)
Ritalin � Didn�t pay attention while I recited the specials? Bastard. (Adult ADD)
Nexium � But you asked for it spicy sir. (Acid reflux disease)
Propecia � You may have money you rude arrogant bastard - but I have all my hair. (Baldness)
Heh...