From the Reaganite Republican(lightly edited):
TEST: Are you a Democrat, a Republican... or a Texan?
You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you...
You are carrying a SIG Sauer 9mm, and you're an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:Republican's Answer: BANG!
- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
- Does the man look poor or oppressed?
- Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
- Could we run away?
- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
- What does the law say about this situation?
- Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
- Should I call 9-1-1?
- We need to raise taxes.
- Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
- I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
- This is all so confusing!
Texan's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! ...click...
(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! ...click....
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or hollow-points?!
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that thing to the taxidermist!
Heh - I grew up among academic liberals (9/11 was my Epiphany) and this is just pitch perfect...