You are Hawai'ian if:

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  1. The possibility of a longshoreman strike makes you panic.
  2. You don't understand why anyone would buy less than a 20 lb. bag of rice.
  3. You would serve Spam as a meat for dinner.
  4. You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi.
  5. You know what a plumeria is.
  6. You don't wear your shoes in the house.
  7. You know why there are alphabets on trees or any posts on graduation day.
  8. You know what and when "Lei Day" is.
  9. You know what a "stink eye" is and how to give it.
  10. You know what nationality girl (more than one) would put tape on her eyelids and why.
  11. You can correctly pronounce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua, Aiea, Likelike, karaoke, and Pipeline.
  12. You know the items in the Big Breakfast at McDonald's.
  13. You know what one "huli huli chicken"Hawaiian-style barbecue chicken is.
  14. You can name 3 varieties of mangos.
  15. You have (or know someone who has) at least one family member whose name is "junior boy" or "tita".
  16. The words, "da kine," are a normal part of your conversation.
  17. You know the difference between being "hapa"half-haole and being hapai."pregnant
  18. You give directions using mauka and makai.
  19. You know what "Hawaii Pono'i"The Hawaii state national anthem is (and you know the words).
  20. You know what it takes to get into Kamehameha School.
  21. Someone says da word "UKU" and your head starts itching!
  22. You raise your chin fo say "wassup" instead of nodding.
  23. When making "Shaka", the back of your hand is facing out.
  24. You say, "Nori" not seaweed paper.
  25. You say "Brah," not "Bro."
  26. You despise the movie "North Shore."
  27. Your jokes are 'bout Portugese people, not Polish people.
  28. You laugh at couples wearing cheesy matching Aloha attire.
  29. You get one pair "rubbah slippahs" (not flip flops).
  30. You e-mail people in pidgin.
  31. You know what (and where) "Morgan's Corner" is (and it still scares you!)
  32. 70 degrees is "freezing!"
  33. You use "tako" instead of worms or fluorescent pink fish eggs for bait.
  34. You got dirty lickins' with "da rubbah slippah" when was small kidtime.
  35. You can walk through Waianae and no get mobbed.
  36. You know that "Kukui nut" is not one mental person.
  37. You give Kahi Mohala's numba out to one guy/girl you no like.
  38. You call it "saimin" not "Top Ramen" (Sapporo Ichiban mo' bettah).
  39. The surf report is on your speed dial and you always get one tide calendar on your wall.
  40. Your local kids wear slippas and shorts in November in Michigan(inside da house, of course).
  41. "Dressing up" means shorts and one Aloha shirt.
  42. You call it "shave ice", not snow cone or shaved ice.
  43. Rainbow Drive-Inn is a special date.
  44. You go Kam, not Aloha, swap meet.
  45. You know pineapples no grow in trees.
  46. You know what Li Hing Mui is and you put it on everything (or put RED Li Hing Mui in da TEQUILA!!! YAAAAAHOOO!!).
  47. You ask for shoyu and not soy sauce.
  48. You call public transportation "Uncle Frank's limosine" or"da BUS" (and that's the official name too!)
  49. You need one relative to get one state job.
  50. Da Lt. Governor is your cousin (or your mother's brother's father's sister's uncle's son).
  51. You know what da H3 is, but you scared drive on it cause stay haunted.
  52. You search your car for pork before you go over da Pali.
  53. You go to Neiman Marcus "jus fo' look." (AKA - Needless Markups)
  54. You can name da cast of Hawaii 5-O.
  55. Da mainland people no can understand when you talk.
  56. You ask for "fruit punch" at McDonald's in da Mainland. (Wat? Nomo!).
  57. You eat spam musubi on a regular basis.
  58. You wear slippahs almost everywhere.
  59. You can be wearing boros and nobody tinks nothin'.
  60. You like ume, daikon, and kim chee betta than pickles.
  61. When you gotta go bathroom, you say "I going shi-shi."
  62. When you try explain the location of something to your friend, you use landmarks instead of street names.
  63. You go Kam Bowl to eat Ox Tail Soup.
  64. You tink Baywatch Hawaii is stupid, cause they dunno how fo ack!
  65. You know da difference between sushi and sashimi.
  66. You know your hemajang pickup truck going pass da safety inspection cause you know da auntie of da cousin of da uncle of the uddah cousin of da uncle who's your "auntie" (he one mahu) and dey get one bruddah-in-law who work fo da service station.
  67. You get one "beach car."
  68. You pass dis e-mail to all da "locals" in yo' da kine e-mail.

1 Comment

I was doing an online search to see if there was a way to order Sapporo Ichiban by the case (chicken flavor) when I found this list. It made my week.

Mahalo for the smiles.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by DaveH published on February 9, 2004 11:46 PM.

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