Heh...

Read the whole thing. Public Environmentalism meet Personal Responsibility From the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler:

More Hollyweird Excrement
DNA may implicate Malibu stars� toilets

This was just too much to pass up. La-La Land Loons vs. Enviro-Loons Vs. The Attack of the Escaped Turds.

Just whose waste is fouling the most star-studded stretch of the Southern California coast? Los Angeles County officials intend to find out, and if the evidence leads back to the toilets of some of Hollywood�s rich and famous, the sewage could really hit the fan. �This is going to get messy,� predicts Mark Pestrella, the public works official assigned to the project.

Environmentalists and health officials suspect Malibu homeowners� leaky septic tanks are allowing what gets flushed down the toilet to flow down the hills and into the Pacific Ocean. To identify the offenders, authorities intend to use DNA testing and, if necessary, get court warrants to inspect septic tanks. And that includes tanks buried in the backyards of Hollywood celebrities.

Holy Human Waste Batman, search warrants for septic tanks? DNA testing�.Do you really, really think the celebs will provide DNA samples. Although it is entirely possible to find Oliver Stone�s next movie script floating around in one of them, and it might pay for the lab work. I know wishful thinking, but I guarantee George Clooney�s stunt double is a floating wrinkle-neck.

Malibu, whose spectacular seaside cliffs, canyons and beaches have attracted numerous environmentally minded celebrities over the years, including Sting and Tom Hanks, was incorporated in 1991 specifically to stop construction of a sewer line. There are an estimated 2,400 septic tanks in this city of multimillion-dollar homes strung along 25 miles of coast.

Malibu residents fiercely guard their privacy and their right to use septic tanks, and many deny their septic systems are the source of dangerous ocean bacteria levels that rise sharply after heavy rains.

Under pressure from Southern California regulators, investigators over the next few months will begin testing sea water. If DNA shows the waste is human and not from, say, raccoons or coyote, they will follow the trail up creeks that traverse neighborhoods in Malibu, where clean-water advocates such as Pierce Brosnan and Ted Danson live.

Hypocrisy in action. The plebes are forced into abandoning their septic systems and paying through the nose for municipal sewer tie-in assessments. The elitist turds created their own little socialist utopia to ensure their shit (which is way to good to put into a public system) agenda is maintained status-quo.

Where the tests show a concentration of human waste, inspectors will sleuth out the source. Though they will not request DNA samples from residents to match waste with its human source, they may ask a judge for authority to inspect tanks of property owners who bar them from taking samples.

You really didn�t think the stellar fecal matter denizens would ever actually get tested didja?

Read the rest -- sounds like a job for Mr. Hankey...