A little dab 'l do you

Sheryl Crow pontificates on toilet paper -- but it's OK, it's for the environment. From her website:

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Emphases mine -- holy crap Sheryl... What planet did you come from. First of all, the use of virgin wood is inappropriate, the trees for paper products are expressly planted for that purpose in tree farms. Standard timber woods are not good for making paper while farmed pulp woods (poplar, larch, etc...) are fast growing and provide an excellent paper product. All the while removing CO2 from our atmosphere. Again, we are not clear-cutting virgin timber lands for pulp production, we are setting aside farmlands for tree farms. There are lots of them around where we live here. Second of all -- proposing a limitation on how many squares of paper I can use at a session simply will not fly. Have you given any thought to how to enforce a law like this. Where are you getting off dictating how I conduct my personal hygene... The BBC has picked up on this story:

Crow calls for limit on loo paper
Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.

Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".

The 45-year-old, who made the comments on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.

She teamed up with environmental activist Laurie David for the shows.

The pair targeted 11 university campuses to persuade students to help combat the world's environmental problems.

Target the young impressionable minds and get them to emote rather than use logic. Way to go Einstein... And by the way Sheryl, the words:

sqares
judgement
heighth and
wastefullness

Should be spelled

Squares
Judgment
Height and
Wastefulness