Dumb Criminal -- cellphone answering

If you steal a car that has a cell phone in it, don't answer it if it rings. Even more, don't think that it's a buddy of yours and talk about what you are doing... From icLiverpool comes the sad story of Christopher Croston -- a moke with a little brain:

Exposed: Merseyside's stupidest criminal
A quick-thinking policeman caught a stupid robber � by calling him on the mobile he had just stolen.

Detective Sergeant Dave Keegan pretended to be a friend of dozy Christopher Croston and talked him into the arms of waiting officers with a series of calls.

Det Sgt Keegan knew he had got his man when Croston started their final conversation: "Hiya mate. I can�t talk right now. I�m with the bizzies."

The 24-year-old had smashed his way into the security booth at Bootle�s Rolls- Royce complex in January, attacked a guard and stole his phone and car.

It was the second time Croston, of Chester Avenue, Netherton, had raided the site that month.

He is now serving six-and-a-half years in jail for robbery, while Det Sgt Keegan has been given a commendation by his chief constable.

When the detective of 26 years� experience arrived at the robbery scene he tried the guard�s mobile and it was answered.

He said: "I knew who it was and pretended to be the victim and said I was from the same estate as him.

Estate is neighborhood.

"I threw in a few local landmarks and soon he was telling me he knew me under my false name and he was sorry because he would never rob from one of his own.

"He and his accomplice were so drunk they crashed the guard�s car and decided to get a train to Liverpool. They got the wrong train and ended up heading to Southport."

Det Sgt Keegan kept up with the progress of his new "friend" in more conversations before directing colleagues to arrest him at Hillside station in the town.

"Using what he told me, I directed the officers to him and when they had him I was asked to ring the phone one last time.

"Croston picked up and said �Hiya mate. I can�t talk right now. I�m with the bizzies.� We knew then we had the right man."

Bizzies are the police.

Chief Constable Bernard Hogan-Howe said: "This was a fantastic piece of work."

Absolutely! And one less bit of genetic pond-scum on the streets -- for a few years anyway...