A fun day

Lulu and I spent some time in the garden planting garlic -- she is doing most of the work while I am in here doing paperwork and paying bills. Nice day today -- temps around 62 and bright sun but cloudy. A couple days of persistent rain are due to start this evening. I had listed for sale two items on the Bellingham Craigslist last evening and I got some 'fun' replies. First was this mailing machine Second was this audio mixer Got an email this morning:

Re: Mailing Machine - $500 (Maple Falls) Date: 2012-10-27, 8:48PM PDT Reply to this post Reply to: dwj9h-3369865096@sale.craigslist.org
Thanks you for the response according to the description, am okay with the price and the condition pasted on cl. I am ready to make instant purchase. My mode of payment would be in CERTIFIED CHECK and i will arrange for a local pick up as soon as you get the check, because that is the only convenient means for me and due to my work frame i can not be able to get there and i promise everything will go smoothly.I really wish to be there to check out the item but i don't have chance cause am very busy person (US MARINE). And am already back to camp but i will get home very soon Concerning the pick up, i will arrange for it after you receive the payment and it clears... Pls get back to me with below info so that i can proceed with the payment immediately if you are selling to me.

Name to be written on check..
Address: Not P.O.BOX...
City...State...Postal Code...
Phone Number that i can send text...

And as soon as this is provided, the payment will be made and i will let you know when its mailed out. Thanks and i hope we handle this in good faith while waiting to hear from you. i will add an additional $30 so that you can hold it for me till the check reaches you.

I then got this one:

OK: 24*8 studio mixer - Mackie - $800 (Maple Falls)
Sounds Good,

I am ready to purchase it asap.I anticipate that I'll have a Certified Check issued out to you from my bank.I'm in no rush with you till fund's are cleared in your bank which takes only a day. You do not have to bother yourself about the shipping. I'll instruct a Shipping Co Agent to come for pick up at your door,when you must have gotten your cash at hand. Kindly e-mail me back with your physical address such as :

Name,
Address (NOT P.o.box)
City, State, Zip-code,
Phone Number.

I will be sending the payment via Overnight FedEx Express Mail Delivery .You can delete the advert asap

Thanks

Do you see a trend here? Hmmmmm??? Here is what I replied to one of them (the other reply was really similar):

Hi Nnnnnnnnn
How about this -- even simpler.

Since you already have an agent in place to pick the unit up, how about sending __them__ the cashiers check, have them cash it and bring me the cash.

I don't get into town that often and this would eliminate a step on my part.

Dave

This scam has been around since God made Dirt. A personal check is processed just like a debit transfer. They send me a personal check, I deposit it, the bank processes it that evening and the funds are transfered out of the senders account at that moment. A cashiers check is not processed this way -- if I deposit a cashiers check, the bank will 'honor' it and credit my account those funds. The 'shipping agent' then picks up the item and a week later, my bank calls me to let me know that the check was counterfeit and they are debiting my account those funds. I am out my $800 and my mixer. I left the wording of my replies very open -- it will be fun to see if I get a response to them... UPDATE: 8:15PM -- I went back and edited both advertisements adding the following line:

If you are going to attempt to run that fifteen year old scam: "I will pay with a Cashiers Check and my agent will pick it up when it clears", you are a total retard. A fscking moron. Go back to your mommies basement and keep on jerking off to her old copies of Reader's Digest. That scam was old when eBay first started. Get a life...

See if that clears things up at all. I might just boilerplate this and put it in all of my other Craigslist ads. Two points of note; fsck is a Linux system tool: File System ChecK It makes a nice proxy when I want to emphasize a bit. The Reader's Digest line is paraphrased from a Harlan Ellison essay in his 1970 collection The Glass Teat -- well worth tracking down and reading.