More Duck Dynasty issues

Duck Dynasty's Robertson Angers Alcoholics, Philanderers
Phil Robertson�s recent controversial comments have drawn criticism from a wide spectrum of offended minorities.

Most inflammatory in his remarks was this infamous passage: "Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men�Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers -- they won't inherit the kingdom of God. Don't deceive yourself. It's not right."

First to weigh in was Patrick O�Malley of the Alliance of Alcoholics and Philanderers. �What is wrong with this man?� asked an astonished O�Malley between sips of whiskey. �Everybody knows this nation was built on alcohol and infidelity. I was hurt more by his comments than my wife when she found out about my 11th affair. I can�t help it if I was born adulterous, and along comes this bigot acting like it�s a choice and a wrong one at that. We have no place for judgmental people like that in today�s society.�

O�Malley�s sentiments were echoed on MSNBC by former president Bill Clinton, who said, �As a fellow Southerner, sportsman, and Christian, I am deeply disappointed by Phil�s hurtful rhetoric. There are serial rapists and adulterers out there who feel really marginalized by this kind of exclusive language. I�m here to tell them that I feel their pain.�

Speaking from the Senate floor this morning, Harry Reid commented, �I especially take offense at his comment that the greedy and the swindlers, and I quote, �won�t inherit the kingdom of God� end quote. Just what authority is he claiming here? One higher than the Senate of the United States? I urge my Republican colleagues to join me in a bipartisan effort to support a bill repealing I Corinthians 6:9 and assuring swindlers their place in Heaven.�

Achmed al-Tikriti, president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Muslims (GLAM) spoke out passionately on the Piers Morgan Show: �As a member of the most progressive and tolerant religion on earth, I urge Phil Robertson to reconsider his damaging statements and to declare jihad on his bigotry. It was enough that A&E would not ban �in Jesus� Name� at their unclean mealtime prayers, but this, this is more than we can bear. By the prophet, the pain is so hurtful! Make it stop!�