A long wonderful essay on empathy by Bulldog at Maggie's Farm:
Has Lack of Empathy Been Pathologized?
I am not delving into the psychology of empathy. I'm not trained in it, and I don't know enough to make a statement from that position. I can, however, write about its effect on my own experiences, from my own therapy, and from a recent event which sparked a challenging debate.
That event was Meryl Streep's Golden Globes acceptance speech. I watched about 5 minutes of it, then left. Because I can, and I chose to. While I agreed with a bit, there was far more there than I was interested in hearing. To begin with, I don't watch award shows, I happened to switch it on at just that moment and thought I'd like to see her receive her award. If I am going to watch an awards show, I want to be entertained, not lectured. I turned it off. I did read the text the next day when the brouhaha around it began. Mainly because New York, the center of 'if you disagreed with her, you're insane and wrong and must have something wrong with you' began to show its ugliness. In other words, "Hillary lost and WE STILL HAVE NO CLUE HOW AND WHY IT HAPPENED SO WE MUST LASH OUT!" Meryl was offered a moment to lash out, and she did. Following some kind of empathic tribal code, her supporters rushed to demonize anyone who didn't 'feel' the same way Meryl did.
Before rejecting what Meryl had to say, I'll point out what I agreed with. I do agree Trump needs to show more decorum, and engage better behavior, if he wants to be a good president. He is thin-skinned and often disrespectful. It's unbecoming. I also agree the press does need to pay attention to what is happening and remain vigilant, and maintain its proper role as the Fourth Estate - a role it has given up in the last 20-odd years, unless a Republican is in office. I agree the press and foreigners play an important role in society. I agree we need to be civil toward each other, and not act like bullies. If these simple statements were made, I'd have said "Nice speech."
But she said so much more. The issue isn't just that she said more, but also where she said it from, and how she positioned herself in saying it. I was left to think "Just who the hell does this person think they are? They can't really be serious. How can she represent so many positions?" Turns out she can't, but believes she can.
One more taste:
In other words, Meryl's lack of empathy was astounding. Her inability to understand why others did not vote as she did leads her to make odd accusations and create false memes to help herself cope. In her speech she exhibited everything that is wrong with Democrats right now. A complete misunderstanding of what empathy is, and what it's meant to be used for. For them, empathy is only understanding how they feel - they really don't give a damn how you feel. Which is fine by me, because when it comes to politics, I don't let my feelings get in the way. I need facts, not feelings. Call me a heartless bastard, but using empathy to create a moral high ground from which to pass judgement on those you deem lacking empathy? That is new to me. It's uniquely fascistic, but I've seen this become more common. It is frequently used in the workplace to chastise managers who try to get more out of Millenials. We're simply not being "empathetic" about who they are.
Well worth reading the entire thing. The writing at Maggie's Farm is always excellent - a daily read for me.
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