From satire site The Beaverton:
Alien civilization blocks humanity after receiving unsolicited nudes
Immediately regretting opening the strange message attached to an oblong metallic object marked “PIONEER” found floating in space, a distant alien civilization blocked all of humanity on Thursday, remarking that unsolicited nude photos – especially ones from inferior bi-pedal species – are super gross. “Ugh, why would they think I would want to see that?” asked Klaxthon using telepathic communication the tri-gendered crew of their spaceship, adding that the dangly thing on the between one of the figure’s lower tentacles makes them want to shed their first three inner digestive mucus layers. “Like, why? So gross!” “At least not right away. If I wanted to see it, I’d ask first. But just cold like that? Disgusting!” they added. At press time, SETI radio observatories report a “very thirsty” message from a different alien civilization asking if we could “host.”
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