From America's Newspaper of Record - the Babylon Bee:
Poll: Majority Want Impeachment Hearings To Continue As Long As Possible So Congress Will Be Too Busy To Meddle With Our Lives
A new poll released Wednesday revealed that the majority of the nation want impeachment hearings to continue as long as possible so that Congress will be too busy to meddle with our lives.
70% of the nation agreed that the House was doing a "fine job" on the impeachment hearings, saying that it's great that Congress is doing something other than pass terrible laws for once. 5% responded to the survey by saying they would prefer Congress stop the hearings and do their jobs, while a strong 25% said they weren't even aware impeachment hearings were going on. This latter group is the happiest of the bunch.
The impeachment inquiry has even sparked something of a revival, as people across the country are praying that impeachment hearings will go on indefinitely so that politicians in Washington will be too distracted by them to bother us very much.
Spot on.
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