From America's newspaper of record, The Babylon Bee:
In Major Deal, The Babylon Bee Purchases Competing Satire Site CNN
The Babylon Bee has been the world's best satire site for thousands of years, spawning dozens of secular knock-offs that just aren't quite as good.
The site announced a new acquisition this week, one that immediately made the site the largest satirical site on the planet: a purchase of competing satire site CNN for $12 billion. The move more than quadrupled the site's catalog of hilarious, satirical articles.
"We've long admired CNN's ability to parody leftist media organizations so effortlessly, and we're thrilled to have them under The Babylon Bee's umbrella," said site CEO Seth Dillon. "When you can't compete with hilarious satire like CNN, you obviously look for ways to get them on your team, and an acquisition seemed to make the most sense."
The new conglomerate organization will be called BNN. CNN writers and hosts will be instructed to simply keep doing what they're doing.
"We don't want them to change anything since you don't try to fix satirical content that's already incredible," Dillon said. "They'll just keep churning out incredibly skewed content in order to satirize the leftist media's inability to report anything without bias or prejudice."
These stories just write themselves...
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