If this was not satire, it would be Washington State

Jay Inslee, call your office - from The Babylon Bee:

Governor Unveils Innovative 37-Step Plan To Reopen State Over The Next 10 Years
With many Americans eager to get back to work, state governors across the country are responding with their plans for giving everyone permission to be normal human beings again. One state governor is enjoying universal acclaim after unveiling his own innovative plan for getting his state reopened.

The new plan is called 'Our Vision for Health, Safety, Virtue, and Eternal Peace' and is a 37-step, 10-year plan for slowly opening up sections of the state economy. It reads as follows:

1. 1. Form an exploratory committee to consult various experts on reopening things
   2. Set date to hear recommendations from the exploratory committee
   3. Create a panel of experts to explore the recommendations recommended by the exploratory committee
   4. Build a brand new website to post exploratory committee recommendations for public comment
   5. Discuss feedback from health experts over catered seafood lunch
   6. Wait 4 weeks to see if catered seafood lunch led to any additional COVID infections
   7. Hire commission to gauge the effectiveness of collaboration over catered seafood lunches
   8. Take away all the guns
   9. Announce a 12-phase reopening of the economy, starting with the businesses with the best lobbyists
   10. Begin Phase 1

27 more steps at the site. The announcement closes with this:

Other states have announced they will wait 10-15 years to judge the effectiveness of this 37 part plan before releasing their own plans. The only exception is Texas, whose governor simply said, "We're open, y'all!"

If I didn't love where I am so much (and if I were 40 years younger), moving to Texas or Florida would be really attractive.