No really - from Vern's Stories:
Best for the Country
Joe Biden gets elected President and is spending his first night in the White House. He has waited so long.....
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Joe says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Joe, "I don't know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Joe says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Joe says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."
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